Because John Hodgman Is Inspirational..

..and because I have a little extra free time on my hands being on break from work, I have a new hobby.

Here are just a few samplings of my new hobby:

"Me and #fishsticks are in heaven"

"It's really starting to piss me off my accountant keeps "strongly advising" against me buying a shark."

Man, I am really ridiculous sometimes.

Oh & P.S. - No I'm not telling YOU what any of this means!

This Is The Type Of Thing I Find Funny

"Whoever stood up the fat neighborhood cat is a real jerk. The poor thing has been sitting in the same spot in my backyard all day long." - VeganViking 

Randomly hilarious friends = priceless.

I See What You Did There

I like to tell my cat that she is a terrible person, because she is.

Head Peckery

Old story, still funny.

My kid was born in November of 2002 but that doesn't stop her from saying some of the weirdest shit I've ever heard any human being say, let alone a 9 year old.

Me, Dad & kid are all in the car, riding down the highway towards the house.  Kid pipes up from backseat, starting the following conversation...

Kid: "I hate eagles!"
Dad: "O.K., why?"
Kid: "One time, back in 1976, I was just walking along when suddenly this eagle swooped down out of nowhere and pecked me on my head!"
Dad & Mom: .....

Conversations like this one take place weekly in our home.

When I Realized MY Idea Made Someone Else Money, I Got Mad.

So next time I think my "perfect birthday gift" is the best idea, ever - I'm trademarking that shit.